The Queen of Hope
by Dead Man's Toe
Summary: A series of short snapshots showing the progression of Regina and Emma's relationship, starting from the time when Emma was a child and the Evil Queen was nothing more than a character in a book. Swan Queen.


The Evil Queen was the name of the library book that six-year-old Emma Swan had checked out earlier that morning. The cover depicted a beautiful woman with dark hair flowing behind her and fire raging around her. A broken crystal crown sat on her head, glittering in the lamp-light. Emma laid alone on her bed, underneath the pillow fort she had constructed days ago and read the story for the first time about a woman who, despite being ruler of an entire kingdom of fairytales, was absolutely miserable. She tried everything to make herself happy, and it only backfired on her. She ruled as a tyrant, and the kingdom grew to hate her. Eventually, she lost the kingdom and was forced to live alone in isolation.

Although it was meant as a cautionary tale, Emma couldn't help but feel angry on the evil queen's behalf. As she closed the book, a single tear snuck down her cheek. When the queen needed help the most, her whole kingdom turned on her. Emma, who had already been through numerous foster homes, felt a special connection with the character. They had a lot in common, she thought. They had both felt the pain of being abandoned.

The next morning, Emma bounced happily down the stairs. She imagined that she was a magical queen, just like the one from her book, with fire flying out of her palms. She giggled as she jumped off the last step, coming face-to-face with her foster mother.

The smile died on her face when she saw Mrs. Teller's expression. It was an expression Emma was all too familiar with.

"Emma," the older woman began.

"You're sending me back to the group home," she finished for her.

Mrs. Teller grimaced as she nodded. "I'm sorry things couldn't work out, but with my new baby on the way, I think this is for the best."

With tears in her eyes, Emma turned away and ran back up the stairs. She slammed the door behind her, no longer caring. Her few possessions were scattered all around the bedroom that was no longer her's. Within a few minutes, her bag was packed. She couldn't bring herself to leave the book behind, so she put it in her bag as well.

Emma ran to her window and opened it as quietly as she could. She tip-toed nimbly down the rooftop, crouching at the gutter. Reaching forward, she grabbed the tree branch and pulled herself down. Slowly, she moved her hands along the branch, working her way closer to the trunk.

Her tiny hands slipped, and Emma felt the wind rush by her as she fell to the ground. She cried out as her ankle hit the ground, snapping underneath her. The tears began to flow freer as she fell over.

Emma sat alone for what seemed like agonizing hours before she heard the sirens. After the shock set in, she didn't pay attention to the woman helping her into the ambulance. She glanced back at the Teller home one last time, feeling betrayed.

* * *

Everywhere she traveled, she kept the book with her. After every heart break, she took it out and read it. The evil queen became a symbol of hope to the young Swan. With tears in her eyes, she would gently touch each illustration of the evil queen. By the time she would get to the end, she would dry her eyes, clench her fists, and tell herself to be strong. After all, if the evil queen could do it, then so could she.

Emma, a few years older, sat on the bus after another betrayal. This time, it was her best friend Lily who had stabbed her in the back. It was a different kind of hurt; one that Emma didn't know how to deal with.

She pulled The Evil Queen out of her bag and began to read. We're not so different, Emma thought to herself. We both know the pain of betrayal.

Emma fell asleep with the book open in her lap. She was startled awake by the policeman shaking her shoulder. She cried out in surprise, jumping backwards and hitting her head against the window. She grimaced, rubbing her hand against what was sure to be a bruise.

"Emma?" the man asked, looking at her with sympathy and concern.

"Yeah," Emma responded, defeated.

"Your family's looking for you. They're really worried."

Emma stuffed the stolen book back into her bag. "I don't have a family."

* * *

With tears streaming down her face, Emma ran down the street. Her lungs and legs burned, but she couldn't stop. She needed to get away from the person who almost killed her.

Ingrid was the first person who had felt like family in her entire life, and she had nearly gotten her killed. Emma choked out a sob, cursing her luck. She dashed into the park, hoping no one would be out. As she sat on a bench, she sobbed.

It was hours before the police found her, long after Emma's tears had run dry. She didn't even resist when police woman lifted her into her arms. "I'm here to take you back," she said softly.

"To Ingrid?" Emma mumbled. Her voice was weak from her crying.

"To the group home."

Emma sighed in defeat.

"I have your things in the car."

The other woman lowered Emma into the back of the car. She crawled to her bag leaning against the opposite window. She dug her book out of her bag and held it to her chest.

Emma fell asleep reading, letting the nameless queen comfort her.

* * *

After she met Neal, the evil queen was slowly forgotten. She had never before been so happy, and she no longer needed her childhood friend. Still, she would sometimes catch a glimpse of the book in her bag, and she would smile fondly.

"What's this?" Neal asked, sitting on the hotel bed with the book in his hand. He flipped through the pages, glancing at the intricate illustrations. The crystal crown glittered up at him. Gently, he touched it with his fingertips.

"First thing I ever stole," Emma told him, sitting next to him so that their shoulders were touching. "It was in the library of one of the many schools I went to as a child, but I didn't have a chance to return it before I was sent back to a group home, so I kept it."

"After all this time?" he asked.

"It gave me hope when I had none," she answered, staring down fondly at the evil queen.

Neal leaned over and kissed her cheek. Contentedly, Emma sighed. "Read it to me?" Neal asked. "I'm curious."

Emma grinned and grabbed the book. The couple lay together with legs tangled in front of them. "Once upon a time, there was an evil queen," she began, her voice filling the room with her tale of hope.

* * *

Prison was much colder than Emma imagined. After the latest betrayal, Neal abandoning her with the stolen watches, she curled up into herself, trying not to cry.

"Once upon a time," she whispered to herself. "There was an evil queen. But she wasn't always evil. Once, she had been kind."

Emma spent the rest of the night reciting her book by heart to keep the tears at bay. Surprisingly, it worked. Although she was relieved, it saddened her to think that the reason may be that she was getting used to heartbreak.

She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the rest of the world. Her lips barely moved, forming the words that she whispered as quietly as possible for only her ears to hear.

"Before she was a queen, she was a kind-hearted, though troubled, lady. Her mother was always there in the shadows, manipulating her like a puppet on a string. Perhaps, that is where her darkness began."

Over and over again, Emma recited the story until she was able to forget about the cell around her, and the only the only thing she could see was the image of the woman who was not so much the Evil Queen as she was the Queen of Hope. Even then, the queen was able to comfort her.

* * *

From her hotel room in Storybrooke, Emma played over the day's events in her mind. It had been a two days, and she was still trying to wrap her head around things.

"She's the evil queen," Henry had said, and in that moment, Emma felt like she had known Henry's mother all her life. She didn't believe his story about the fairy tale characters, but she still felt drawn to the women she had met earlier who bore striking resemblance to the character from Emma's book.

She paced the room, trying to clear Regina's face from her mind. No matter what she did, she still saw those brown eyes staring at her in confusion.

She had helped Regina find Henry after he ran off that morning, and she witnessed the queen-like rage of Henry's mother. Admittedly, it made her a little uneasy, but still, it was like having her imaginary best friend.

Emma rubbed at her eyes, trying to scrub Regina from the insides of them. She needed the other woman gone. It hurt too much to think about her.

She was so grateful to have spent her birthday with Henry and Regina that she had started to cry just hours earlier. Despite her denial, she had begun to see Regina as the evil queen and her childhood friend. Suddenly, she found herself wanting to be part of their lives just as much as she had wanted a family as a kid. But then, Regina had told her she couldn't stay.

The rejection hurts like nothing ever had before; more even than Lily or Neal's betrayals. Emma had struggled to conceal the shock and hurt that showed on her face as she managed to walk away with a small shred of dignity. Now, she sat on her bed, drawing her legs close to her chest to comfort herself. Absentmindedly, she began reciting the words of her book to herself.

The hurt fueled Emma's anger, solidifying her decision to stay in Storybrooke. She needed to be with her son.

* * *

She fought Regina constantly, yet deep down, beneath all the anger, she still felt the want for Regina's acceptance, and it hurt when she was only met with more anger.

When Regina embraced Henry after Emma had pulled him out of the collapsed mine, she thought that maybe they had managed to put aside their differences. Her eyes glittered with happiness, and Emma thought to herself, 'maybe now she'll love me.'

She was wrong. She knew that now after having been shoved away by Regina's harsh words. She couldn't even hug her own son, and she hated it so much that she could feel the hot sting of tears in her eyes as she walked away.

* * *

Her determination to fight Regina only grew, yet that hope that she would one day accept her lingered. 'Perhaps that's why I'm in this mess now,' Emma wondered to herself.

As she washed the ash off of herself in the shower, she wondered why it was that she hadn't just left the other woman and saved herself.

When Regina had tried to take her job away from her, Emma was prepared to go all out to destroy her. Yet when the building caught fire, Emma couldn't abandon her. She still felt like the character from the book Emma had loved so much. So, she found the fire extinguisher and charged into the room after her. As the two stumbled away from the house, Emma again had thought to herself, 'maybe now she'll love me.'

And again, she was wrong.

She scrubbed hard at her skin, trying to scrub the anger away with the ash. Someday, Regina would love her. She had to. Emma didn't know if she could handle it if she didn't.

* * *

"It's all true, isn't it?"

Emma held her breath as Regina glared up at her. For the first time, she hoped that it was. If the curse was real, then that meant Regina really was her childhood friend.

"Yes," Regina answered. The despair showed on her face. With Henry's life in peril, she had never looked more human.

It was true. Emma still couldn't breathe. Suddenly, everything was too much for her. The idea of Henry's curse being true still seemed too unreal, despite all the evidence. She felt overwhelmed by it all.

Regina gently touched her arm, and she took a deep breath in. If the curse was real, then one other thing was true. She had found the evil queen.

* * *

Staring up at the wraith, Emma had never felt so terrified. Behind her, Regina worked on the hat, trying to make the portal work. Steadily, she grew more frantic, fearing for her life.

Though Emma didn't know much about magic, she guessed that Regina was too worked up to get anything done. She crouched beside the queen and placed her hand on her arm, hoping to calm her down. It worked, and the portal opened up.

As the wraith fell inside, Emma smiled at Regina and thought, 'maybe now she'll love me.'

Emma had no such luck.

* * *

It was Mr. Gold who first discovered it.

Mary Margaret and David rushed outside the shop, leaving Emma alone with Rumplestiltskin and Belle. Her face had fallen at the news that Regina had killed Archie.

"She wasn't lying though," Emma muttered. "I know her. She couldn't have killed Archie."

Gold gave her a sympathetic look. "You love her, don't you?"

"What?" Emma asked, surprised.

"Regina," Gold continued. "You love her."

"I don't," Emma insisted, trying to keep a straight face. "We hate each other."

As she walked out to join her parents, she knew neither of them were convinced.

* * *

Not long after, Emma found herself alone in the library with Belle.

She leaned against the desk, breathing a heavy sigh of defeat. Hair fell into her eyes, shielding her face from the librarian. She stood there for a moment, wondering how to word what she wanted to ask.

"Is everything alright?" Belle asked, looking at her in concern.

Emma looked up at her, letting her hair fall away from her face. Her normally impassive eyes revealed the turmoil within for once. "How do you do it?" she asked.

"Do what?" Belle responded, her eyebrows wrinkling in confusion.

"You love Gold so much," she said. "Yet he does these terrible things sometimes. How does it not hurt?"

Belle walked around the desk to stand next to her. She placed her hand on her shoulder. Emma glanced over at her hopefully.

"It is difficult to love someone with a dark heart," Belle began. "We just have to hope that our love can change them."

Emma nodded in agreement. "Thanks," she said, smiling. "We can't give up, can we?"

Belle squeezed her arm gently. "You know I'm here if you need anything. I feel like I'm sort of an expert at this"

* * *

The failsafe disappeared in a cloud of magic, much to both Emma and Regina's relief. As Emma looked at the queen, she's glad that she never gave up on her. Regina smiles back at her, the relief evident on her face as well.

"We did it," Emma whispered, still stunned.

Regina nodded in approval. Their eyes met, and Emma wondered, 'maybe now she'll love me.'

She never got the chance to find out.

* * *

"I was just looking for you to be my friend," Emma said, and it was the truth.

After everything they had been through, from Neverland to the second curse, Emma felt a deeper connection to the queen than she had before. Whenever she looked at Regina, she still saw the Queen of Hope from her book.

She knew Regina. She understood Regina. Now, she needed Regina.

"I don't want to kill you," Regina admitted. Though it seemed small, it meant the world to Emma.

'Maybe someday she'll even love me,' Emma thought to herself.

* * *

The darkness surrounded Regina, trying to choke out the life from her. She struggled against it, attempting to fight it off. The darkness was stronger, however, and it was quickly winning.

Emma struck the dark cloud with the dagger without taking the time to think about it. She only knew that she needed to save Regina. She loved her. She had no choice.

As the darkness left her for Emma, she could see the fear reflecting in Regina's eyes before her vision was completely blocked. She could hear the other woman's protesting shouts. Emma tried to respond, but nothing came out. Blackness surrounded her, pouring into her skin. The dark energy filled her until there was nothing left.

As she felt her body being ripped away from the Earth, she couldn't help but think about Regina. 'Maybe now she'll love me,' she thought.

* * *

To her surprise, Emma felt nervous as she materialized in front of Regina's door. It had been too long since she had seen the other woman, and it hadn't been under the best circumstances. She knocked on the door, hoping the other woman would answer.

She did, to Emma's relief. Her eyes were wide with surprise. "What are you doing here, Swan?" she asked.

"I just wanted to see you," Emma answered, her voice heavy from crying.

Regina stepped aside, letting Emma in. She closed the door behind them, not taking her eyes off the Dark One. The queen didn't look at Emma with the same fear that the others did. It was refreshing.

Ever since the darkness had taken over, her relationship with Hook had fallen apart. She never considered him to be her true love; not in comparison to Regina. Still, she had hoped that they could be happy together since she couldn't be with the woman she really wanted.

Emma's relationship wasn't the only one in tatters. Ever since Zelena had interfered with Regina's relationship, it had been rocky. Tensions were high, and the couple spent more time fighting than anything. From the pink in Regina's eyes, Emma could tell that she had been crying too, and it was most likely because of Robin.

"I miss you," Emma admitted.

"I miss you too," Regina responded.

"How's Henry?" Emma asked.

"He's different," the other woman answered. "Most days, he's completely distraught. He misses you too."

"But he doesn't want to see me," Emma said, her eyes falling to the floor with shame.

Regina stepped closer, taking the Dark One's hands into her own. "He's ashamed of failing you," she answered honestly. "You should visit him more."

Emma nodded. The tears were back in her eyes, threatening to overflow. "I just miss when we were like a family."

Regina gently cupped Emma's chin and brought her face up so she could look into her pained eyes. It was Emma who closed the distance, placing her lips over the queen's. She froze in surprise when Regina kissed her back, pressing her own lips into Emma's.

"You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that," Emma admitted as they pulled apart.

Regina blushed nervously, looking away. "I don't think this is a good idea."

"Why not?" Emma questioned, taking her hand. "I know what true love is, and it's not what you and Robin have."

At her remark, a single tear fell down Regina's cheek. "It has to be," she insisted. "He's my only chance at a happy ending."

"That's not true," Emma whispered, leaning in to rest her forehead against Regina's. "You still have me."

"Would you like to stay the night then?" Regina offered.

"Yes," Emma whispered.

And so the two of them ended up in Regina's bed. Emma curled up around Regina, holding her close as if she were anchoring her to the Earth. Regina, for once, simply allowed herself to be comforted by the other's presence. They slept peacefully with none of the usual nightmares to disturb them.

When Emma awoke the next morning, she simply watched Regina sleep. 'Maybe now she loves me,' she thought.

And when Henry hugged her and Regina kissed her on the cheek, she definitely felt loved.

* * *

Years after the Dark One curse had broken, Emma and Regina lay in Emma's bed with their backs to each other. Now mortal again, Emma had managed to build a stable relationship with Regina and repair the damage with the rest of her family. It finally seemed as if she was getting her happy ending.

"What's this?" Regina asked, turning towards Emma.

She turned to see what her girlfriend was holding. The Evil Queen, the book from Emma's childhood, sat in her hands.

"Where did you find that?" Emma asked curiously.

"Just on your side table," she answered, flipping through the pages. "She even looks like me."

"She does," Emma agreed, snuggling closer. "It was a library book I stole as a kid. It helped me through some difficult times."

"I should read it sometime," Regina said, setting it aside. "But right now, I need sleep."

She turned the lamp off, letting the room fall into darkness. The two returned to their original position, backed up against each other. Emma smiled brightly. Her heart felt as if it was overflowing with love. After so many years, she had finally found her evil queen, and it was worth all that she had been through.

Because finally, they were happy.


End file.
